3 Little Pigs

Wow, I haven't had a chance to update until now. Imagine that. I guess I could say I have been too busy working on my tan, getting a pedicure and eating bon bons to blog. Man I wish.

I could kill the person who said having 3 kids was just adding one more. They were dead wrong! The day to day household activities haven't changed much but man do they demand constant attention. I am either wiping this ones nose, getting someone a drink, tying a shoe, wiping someone's butt, breaking up a fight that most days I feel like I haven't taken a breath all day.

To add to all of this, someone is ALWAYS crabby! One day, I am going to keep a list of how many times each of them can cry and whine in a given day. Maybe I should hand out "Oscar the Grouch" awards. I can see them right now loving this idea although I already know who would win!

To combat sanity, I have set a few new pampering ground rules for myself: Please read at your own risk and don't call DSS.

1. Happy hour can now begin at 2pm instead of 4pm without seeming like an alcoholic. This will be just as the morning double shot espresso is leaving my system

2. It is now okay to drink alone...or without the company of another adult (adult definition now includes anyone over the age of 10)

3. It's okay to yell "Stop that GODDAMIT" instead of just "Stop it." They haven't figured this one out yet!

4. TV time can now be raised to 3 hours in a row instead of 1. Of course, this only makes sense since there is 3 of them.

5. The dog is now in charge of cleaning up the food in the high chair, coffee table and any leftover food particle on the kids hands. It's about time she earns her keep

6. I now have a cleaning lady coming once a month. I have told Milon this was until the dog dies but really I have no intention of firing her then. After all, the dog is 11 how much longer till she kicks the bucket?

7. Any outfit the kids come down the stairs wearing is permissible as long as all body parts are covered. This means Leah can now wear her green wife beater with a hedgehog on it with the pink tulle skirt. Yes, I don't care as long as they have clothes on.

8. Davis no longer has to brush his teeth (since he complains all the time about it) but he knows if he gets a cavity it's coming out of his piggy bank.

9. Leah now asks to listens every night for her bed to "call her name" b/c I told her it misses her. So I whisper "Leah, I miss you, come see me."

10. The kids can now pick their dinner out from some choices...cereal, eggs or yogurt. They don't eat anyway so I figured why cook for them? The other night Davis had guacamole (homemade of course) and tortilla chips (I bought organic so I could feel a little better) and he says to me "Thanks mom, this is the best dinner ever!)

11. Oh and one last one....baths are now only given if (1) they are bored and need some entertaining or Emma has diaper rash. If they look clean and smell fairly clean, no need for baths.


Yeah, I know I am kidding with SOME of these...I will let you figure out which is true!